Or maybe I will feel nervous when I am around him? Or I will feel anxious if I can't see him even for a day?
If the answer to all this question is YES. Then, I think I have fallen in love. Not just normal love, but my FIRST love since 20 years of living.
I am a girl with nothing. I don't have a happy family nor beauty for others to fall for me. However, he is my first love. First male to be notice by me. I am very excited to feel this kind of feeling. And I can't wait for the time to come so that I will have the chance to express my feeling.
But, there is no happy ending for a girl like me. No one is interested in me and I am just embarrassing myself by expressing my love to him. I will remember that day for ever in my life.
That day was my birthday and I decided to express my love for him. It was the first time that I bake a cake and I hope that he will like it. However, when I express my feeling and present the cake to him. He replied me with a reply that break my heart.
''Can the cake be eaten by human? I think not. Just like the owner. Please don't pollute the surrounding with something like this..''
When I hear his replied. I felt as if my heart was torn apart. The pain was unbearable and I felt as if I am unable to breathe.I wanted to burst out, but my tears just wont come out. It was as if I am too shocked by this incident and my legs are like frozen as I am unable to move. I wanted to hide from this humiliation but I can't move at all. I really hope that someone will safe me. But I know this will not happen as the girl is me. Yes, it's me!! A girl where no one will like.
After that day, I lost confidence in love. I don't believe in love anymore as love is so painful. I don't want to be hurt anymore as I can't take it. Eventhough, I don't believe in love. But my feeling for him haven't change yet and it grew even stronger. What am I going to do?? Each time I saw him, my heart will ache as I know he will not fall for me even in a lifetime.
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